Thursday, February 5, 2009


I am going to be sofa king rich!

Sofa king because I really don’t like to use the “F” word. It’s just not my favorite. Shit is probably my favorite, and beotch, although I’m not sure if that’s technically a swear word. Anyway, while I totally appreciate the diversity of the “F” word, I have a tough time saying or writing it except on rare occasions. Hence, I am usually relegated to using words like friggin’, freakin’, f’in or fudge. Then this friend on facebook reminded me of what we used to say back in the day. I sofa king love it!

Now, where was I? Oh yeah!... My idea and the wealth I shall receive from it!

When I get sofa king sick of doing the damn dishes, searching the house for cups, and prying apart the plates my kids ate their pancakes on this morning, I bust out the disposable plates and shit! While looking over this morning’s elegant place-setting of paper plates, paper towels, plastic cups, and plastic utensils, I came up with my idea!

Disposable clothing!

This is going to be sofa king great! When I get sick and tired of stinky socks, skid marks, and dribble front pants (anyone who has a little boy knows what this is), I can just bust out the disposable clothing and toss that shit! No washing required! Plus, it’s not like it has to be fashionable. Mom’s all over will be beating the crap out of each other like those beotches on Black Friday just to get their hands on them. They won’t give a crap what they look like!

I know what you’re saying… “Modern Day, you are sofa king brilliant!”

Thank you, thank you. Stop, really, it’s nothing.

Alright environmentalists! Geez! I guess I can make them bio-degradable, although that totally blows the shit out of my swimwear and underwear line.

And I suppose you will only be able to wear them when it’s sunny outside for the same reason.
Sorry, entire state of Washington.

Huh! I’m gonna have to give this way more thought! Shit!


  1. You are onto something and it is sofa king brilliant!

  2. Get rid of skid marks forever! Eco-friendly, and oh so kind to your behind is the portable bidet bathroom sprayer from . It almost eliminates the need for toilet paper, offers vastly superior cleaning, convenience and in addition has many health benefits. Comes in a kit that can be installed without a plumber.